The Law of the Playground
the letter m
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My little pony,
skinny and bony,
went to the circus,
and done it on purpose.
(it being a crap)
Alternative ending to the well-accepted first two lines is "made out of plastic, looks like a spastic".
approved Mar 1 2003, submitted Feb 17 2003 by Gordon Yeti
Alternate version;
My little pony, skinny and bony,
under the table, drinking black label.
Not the most shocking version, but quite cute I suppose.
approved Mar 10 2003, submitted Mar 9 2003 by Kate S
Other words rhyming with Pony, apart from "boney", are baloney, Police Academy's Mahoney, Island (Coney), most pastas, and homey. I just wrote this.
My little Pony,
Just like Mahoney,
She's got a homey,
Makes helicopter noises that are phony.
And that's the best My Little Pony rhyme ever. SUBJECT CLOSED.
approved Sep 30 2004, submitted May 13 2004 by Jon Blyth
I do hope by the final line of your poem that you're not insinuating that it was Mahoney who made the funny helicopter noises in Police Academy. It was Jones. Everyone knows that.

Of course, if your little pony is just making helicopter noises in order to provide a very bad rhyme at the end, well, that's an awesome little pony. Mine didn't do anything. Except have really flammable hair.

Thanks for your feedback, Chad! No, I am aware it was Jones who made the noises - Jones is Mahoney's Homey, you see. I incorporated that into the language I used. And yes, my My Little Pony was awesome. We had amazing adventures, some of which didn't involve pints and pints of piss. Log.
approved Jan 11 2005, submitted Nov 12 2004 by Chad Cobra
In the first tutorial together, pupils are forced to do introduction exercises, teling the class their name, and telling them a bit about themselves. "My name is Jacob and I like eggs" was the appalling example offered by the form tutor to get the ball rolling.
It did prove to be a bonding experience for the class, in that we bonded by saying "Hello, my name is Jacob and I like eggs" for half an hour.
approved Jul 12 2004, submitted Mar 21 2004 by Alan Dobson
A type of washing up liquid that isn't actually Fairy Liquid, but shares an advertising agency.

On hearing Martin Newman singing "hands that do dishes feel as soft as your face, with my queen's Fairy Liquid", I informed him that the correct line was "mild green Fairy Liquid".

Rather than admit this simple mistake, he told me that actually he had been singing the advert for the other Fairy Liquid, whose full name was "My Queen's Fairy Liquid". Apparently they had used exactly the same tune and almost identical lyrics. Even Martin was surprised by this; the conversation ended with him saying "god knows why they used the same tune..." and giving a nervous laugh.

Phil says:
As joyous a tale of hole-diggery as this is, the fact remains that you were both singing along with washing up liquid adverts. The pair of you must be considered quite the double act at dinner parties.
approved Jul 9 2003, submitted Jul 5 2003 by Name Withheld
Myers was a kid in my games class who was made entirely of spheres. He wasn't really picked on that much, but after and before every games class, in the changing rooms EVERYONE would shout Myers in a drawn-out fashion (emphasis on the 'yer' part). We even changed pitch like a motorbike changing gears. It was odd, someone would just start it and you had to join in. He always cried.
approved Sep 23 2003, submitted Sep 8 2003 by Graeme Glease
Alex Myers wet himself,
Wet himself,
Wet himself.
Alex Myers wet himself,
WET
HIM
SELF.

Sung at my school's very own 'Myyeeerrrrs' because he once stood up from his chair in maths to reveal a wet buttock shaped patch. He never became too angry at this little chant because it meant that, for a few minutes at least, we stopped singing about the fact he fingered his dog.
approved Dec 7 2005, submitted Dec 7 2005 by Aly G
Paul Statham once spat in my sandwich. In memory of this crime I composed the following refrain, sung to the tune of Grieg's In The Hall of the Mountain King:

Statham is a fucking cunt
Fucking cunt
Fucking cunt
Statham is a fucking cunt
A fucking, fucking cunt.


Not big on variety or lyrical invention perhaps, but like many simple mantras it contained a kernel of profound truth.
approved Jan 11 2006, submitted Jan 2 2006 by anonymous user