The Law of the Playground
the letter s
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Little gifts left on branches to make climbing a tree more difficult and unpleasant for those who follow you. These can include regular spit, greened spit, and the impassable chewed up soggy Cheese and Onion crisps.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Quim
The game played as a child where various participants fill their mouths with saliva and compete to see who can create the longest 'spit dangle'. The winner was the one whose went the lowest without it turning into a full blown 'gob'. The more skillful players would show-off by sucking theirs back up before it hits the ground.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Dell Boy
See also dead heat in a zeppelin race, two ferrets fighting in a sack, two bald men. But not in this list.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Bourne , Jon Blyth
This is great fun, we normally did it to cunt kids with big chins, we used to get them on the ground then we got a group of people to spit in his mouth then started poking at his face saying "HAHAHA you now have AIDS you have technolcally kissed loads of males you willy wufter" then kicked them in the face for old time sakes.

(More stream of consciousness fun can be found at Bob Mara's website, Kerrap. Please, no-one else emulate Bob Mara's style in their entries - his is a unique voice. - Log)
approved Oct 2 2003, submitted Aug 14 2003 by Name Withheld
The self-chosen name our school's foremost rap duo. Marginally better than if they'd called themselves "Ping and Pong", or "MC Hello Dolly and the Belgrano Connection", I suppose. But only marginally.
approved Nov 19 2004, submitted Nov 16 2004 by jon james
Showing more adult sensibilities than DJ Splish and MC Splash, "Master Pete and Nigger Jay" laid down the rhymes at my school. Needless to say, both were uncompromisingly white.
approved Jun 1 2005, submitted May 18 2005 by anonymous user
A game which combines the intellectual with the violent. It involves two teams of boys, one of which will think of a word made up of as many letters as there are team members. Each member is given a letter. The other team must then guess the word. They do this by inflicting great pain on each member of the other team until they crack, and blurt out their letter. Once you've given up your letter, you join the torturers. Or sit there like an idiot for a while, I forget. When the word is guessed, the teams switch roles. I never played your basic Splogger much, because I was much more interested in.. Dirty Splogger. This has a team of boys and a team of girls. One team has the word, as with basic Splogger, but instead of hitting you, the other team.. does things.. to you until you get hysterical and embarrassed and give up your letter. Dirty Splogger can go on quite some time, and in our school served as the introduction to sex for most kids.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Simon Windmill
Spoilsports was a game of my invention which involved going around the playground and fucking up everyone else's game - kicking footballs over the school fence, standing in the middle of the girls' game of elastics, and so on.
The game was great fun, but was sadly curtailed when I had the shit thoroughly kicked out of me by an older girl.
I spent much of the afternoon sat on a female teacher's lap sobbing like a great jessie. And that's why I like NWA.
approved Jan 2 2006, submitted Oct 10 2005 by Name Withheld
I played this game regularly, although we called it 'Poiling People's Pames'. Our code was truly unbreakable.
approved Oct 28 2006, submitted Jul 26 2006 by Mark Gravell
Incredibly spurious nickname for a boy who has received a sponge bath from a girl. The nickname itself makes enough sense, but for the love of mercy, what are twelve year olds doing giving each other sponge baths? They should be at least sucking each other off.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Jon Blyth
A unit or activity of hard work. When a classmate exerts more than the accepted 'minimum effort' in the classroom, mime the motion of spooning a substance out of a container. This substance is "effort" - feel free to say "eff-ort" whilst spooning.
For extreme cases, imitating a JCB operator or the motion of the Channel tunnel excavator is required.
approved Sep 30 2003, submitted Aug 24 2003 by anonymous user
One who finds a friend's younger sibling attractive. Based on the true story of Robert Durrent, who quite actually spooned out some of his little sister's love gloop, and ate it like cough medicine.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by The Butler
A male born with no kind of genitals whatsoever. Possibly, we decided, based on the resemblence of the bare groin to the smooth, featureless... shiny... back of a spoon. Just another thought; this may be based on the sexless but affectionate practice of spooning; presumably, anyone choosing to simply hug their partner in bed must be some kind of cockless neuter.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Jon Blyth
We used to call poor people 'sporkers' based on them supposedly not having enough money for proper cutlery, and having to eat with those crappy spoon-fork combination things.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Rocky Shore Pervert
Children who excelled at sport. The derision with which this name was delivered justified the sloth of hundreds of fat kids, like myself, who had just got a Commodore 64 and didn't really want to be running around.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Jon Blyth
A poor person. A person who wears a sack and has to use dead squirrels as buttons is a spunk bubble.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Scott W
Also a bubble forming in a trough full of spunk, because ill-mannered children are blowing into it through straws.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Jon Blyth
After watching sex-ed videos, we would boast that we were all capable of producing spunk, and plenty of it. One ginger fat kid claimed he had an entire bowl of it at home. Since that claim, we all pretended to be in possession of at least a pint of our own semen.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Nick
Sitting on the bus at the end of the day, we were informed that Neil Clements had wanked into his hand during a maths lesson. When someone asked how the teller could be sure Neil hadn't merely pissed on his own hand, they were told, "Because the spunk was all crispy." This has baffled me for the last nine years.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Noel Gardner
Our junior school was surrounded by fields, one of which became the winter home for locally famous fairground operators. As a result, we shared our classrooms with several young gyppos. Having led the exciting, criminal, sexually active lives of the fairground deviants they were, they provided us with sex education at a tender age. One of them convinced us all that girls produced spunk, just like boys, and that the smell on his fingers would proove it. This sounded proposterous, but his fingers did indeed smell spunky. It didn't occur to me that this was probably because his older brother had got to his younger sister first.
approved Feb 22 2003, submitted Feb 21 2003 by Dinner Dance
Between the ages 11 and 13, I laboured under the delusion that cum was purple, and had the consistency of frogspawn. It was started by a child who claimed to have seen his brothers spunk.
Being eager to impress, the next day I told my friends that I myself had come. Moreover, I claimed to have produced a pint of plum coloured spooge. I was hailed as a hero, until puberty let everyone know that I was either a liar or a freak...
It was at this point that I should have pointed out that the lie came originally from a boy who watched his brother wank.
approved May 7 2003, submitted Mar 11 2003 by Phil Deathslitte2
The ideal Games option, allowing the loud macho lads to demonstrate their iron-pumping skills in the gym while we pale anaemics hid behind the upper stairwell above the squash courts. If caught and forced to enter the weights room, standard procedure was to occupy the exercise bike, strategically positioned behind an archway so that its user could minimise legwork and sneers from the lads while watching Annie Lennox on MTV on the opposite wall.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Paul Equinox Collins
A local urban myth peddled by an irresponsible adult about a local old man who used to go mad when someone shouted "squashed liver" through his letterbox. The old man was then capable of speeds up to 70 mph when chasing kids who had shouted squashed liver, who he would then kill. He is still alive today, but due to being over 90 cannot get above 40 mph.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Vic Flange
A farting Catch 22.
1. A high pitched squeaky fart is the product of an arse which is substantially blocked up with cum. Real men do deep, rumbling farts, so free from spunk are the caverns of their anus.
2. A "squeaker" is the sign of a tight, virginal arsehole, unprodded by Big Ron. Meaty biffers were direct evidence that your arse had seen action, and was ragged around the edges.
approved Dec 10 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Dan Wakely, Jon Blyth