The Law of the Playground
the letter y
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A mantra-like whittling process, designed to prevent lower years from attempting to have any dealings with those above them.
"Excuse me but can you tell.."
YOU'RE GAY!
"I'm late for class..."
YOU'RE GAY!
"but I want.."
GAY!
"but.."YOU'REGAY!
"I.."
YOU'RE GAY!
Talking to you like that! Where do gay people get off? (The answer is in hedges.)
approved Apr 19 2005, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Richard Difford-Smith
Used when someone demonstrated a fierce temper, or threatened someone, and eventually for no real reason at all.
After the victim had acted hard or tried to be tough in some way, a chorus of people would shout 'Oooooh, you're hard, where's your handbag?', and then run away doing the John Inman limp wrist thing.
approved Dec 16 2002, submitted Dec 16 2002 by Harry Nice
Response by girls to absolutely anything a boy says or does that is in anyway funny, interesting or unorthodox. My answer was that I was releasing my inner child, which was in fact a very mature thing to do indeed.
approved Jul 13 2005, submitted Jun 17 2005 by Ross Gillson
A good reply to this is to say 'Yeah, but only mentally' while leering at them, thus suggesting that while your internal world may be juvenile and squishy, your physical development was easily advanced enough to assume the very grown up role of sexual predator.
approved Mar 19 2006, submitted Feb 9 2006 by Gary Lamont
A game similar to speednob, but without the speed element. Simply steal the book, folder, homework diary and draw a cock at your leisure, with the caption "You've been boabyed!". Boaby being Scottish slang for a dick.
(Wasn't there a character called Fat Boab in the Oor Wullie cartoon? And wasn't his other mate called Soapy? So Willy hangs out with a soapy fat cock? Is this a commonly known thing in Scotland that I've only just worked out? - Log)
approved Sep 26 2003, submitted Sep 19 2003 by Chris D
Log - you're spot on, but you forgot the very childish other connection of Wee Eck. 'Wee' of course being urine. Like Wee Eck. Get it? Oh dear, this isn't good enough is it?
approved Sep 29 2003, submitted Sep 26 2003 by Pope Gregory
These terms describe the status of small pieces of screwed up paper that were flicked on missions into the hair of those on the desks in front.
Upon flicking, the time was noted, and the duration of survival within the hair recorded in the back of an exercise book.
Brand new pieces of paper were referred to as "young'uns", while retrieved survivors were known as "veterans" and reassigned to future missions.
Although longer survival times could be achieved in dense, curly hair, greater kudos was bestowed upon veterans of campaigns fought in more barren terrain, such as sleek newly-washed hair or a skinhead.
As comptition increased, it was found that these hair-based paper commandos could be modified via the addition of paper spikes for greater friction. And then the arms race began.
approved Aug 9 2006, submitted Aug 9 2006 by Tom Cutts
Inexplicable thing to shout when someone's trousers are just that bit too short. Often combined with the sounds of a cat being tortured.
approved Jan 25 2003, submitted Jan 22 2003 by Mazza Waz
The scrolling screensaver displayed on all the IT machines in our tech room for about a week because Mr Pleydell didn't know how to remove them.
approved Mar 10 2003, submitted Mar 9 2003 by Alistair Gray
A lie that is maintained for however long it is interesting; ie, until the victim has cried themself unconscious.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Jon Blyth, Mark Craig
A bizarrely popular insult for, ooh, all of one break time at least.
approved May 5 2003, submitted Mar 21 2003 by Matt Fasham
Distillation of the "your mother" insults, which were memorable in themselves for having an element of creativity [here]. Eventually, however, just saying "your mum" (or yomomma) was enough, the implication being that no more needed to be said. She was just yomomma, and that was enough.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by SmallPaul
I enjoyed "your mum" insults for a goodly while, and even made a quiz in which all the answers were "your mum" related. For instance, What furry animal communicates with a tiny dance? Your mum. What Is The Fastest Land Mammal? Your mum on a bike. How did Marc Bolan die? Your mum farted into his mouth. How much is a guinea and a florin worth? Two gob jobs off your mum. Et, cet, era.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Jon Blyth
The "Your Mum" game consists of luring your opponent into asking the question "who?" to which you respond with "YOUR MUM!!" and are then the winner. Hours of fun.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Holly
The Naim Ditta extension;
Naim threw a peace of paper the Head of Year. When the class was asked 'who threw that?' Naim covered his mouth and shouted 'Your Mum!'.
It should have ended there, but when the head of year asked who said that, Naim replied 'Your Dad'.
It's pathetic, but the idea his mum was somehow in the class, and got grassed up by her husband who for some reason had joined her, was hilarious. It really was.
approved May 2 2003, submitted Mar 25 2003 by Rob Marsh
On the topic of mother insults, this is possibly the funniest graffito I ever saw written with a black magic marker on the wall of the bus shelter. Here it is, exactly as it was written and punctuated:
Douse your mum smell of fish!
I think she douse!

The writer could have simply stated it as a simple fact, i.e. 'your mum smells of fish'. So why did they instead phrase it as they did?
Perhaps the intent was to give their statement a pantomine-like emphasis by phrasing it as a question and then offering up a retort to any arguments that there might be on the subject, as in: "Your mum smells of fish!" (Response: 'Oh no she doesn't!') "Oh yes she does!"
Or perhaps, it was felt necessary to give the reader the opportunity to contest the statement by phrasing it as a question, then, as if imagining what the reply might be, letting them know prematurly that they intend to stand by their conviction, as in: "Do you think that your mum smells of fish? Because even if you don't, I do.".
Or perhaps there was an ongoing debate that the writer decided to settle right there on the bus shelter wall. "There has been some discussion as to whether or not your mum smells of fish. I have done some investigating - which didn't prove too difficult, as you can smell your mother's fishy stank from some distance. So, in conclusion, yes, your mother does stink of the fish."
approved Jul 9 2004, submitted Feb 19 2004 by Erin Miller
Basically involved saying "your mum" and repeating what had just been said.

For instance:
Teacher: "..and that's how Jesus died on the cross."
Pupil: "Your mum died on the cross."

Teacher: "Can anybody tell me what happens when you mix these chemicals together?"
Pupil: "Your mum can tell me what happens when you mix these chemicals together."

Hours of fun for all the family!
approved Jul 14 2007, submitted Jun 26 2006 by Name Withheld
When you see an ugly, fat, or disabled person on the street, you may allocate them to your friend by pointing them out and saying "Yours". The more ugly, fat or disabled they are, the better the yours.

Log says:
There are ways around this, for the person in receipt of the ugly, fat or disabled person. First, look for any attractive people nearby, and pretend they meant him. "What, the nude man with big brown nips? Thanks!"

If they try to correct you, acknowledge the intended target, look academic for a moment, and say "no, you can't mean him - he's legally yours". If there is no attractive person, simply front it out with "yeah, and he's got a massive cock, I love it".
approved Oct 16 2011, submitted Oct 15 2011 by anonymous user
Yum yum bubble gum
Stick it up your mother's bum.


Additional lines detail the processing of the bubble gum, as follows:

When it's brown, pull it down
When it's black, put it back
When it's pink, let it stink.


That's about as far as we got. We were only about 6.
approved Jun 14 2007, submitted Dec 9 2006 by Mike Oxtiny