The Law of the Playground
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Um, isn't that Switzerland?
Thanks to Richard Irons, and also lots of other people for sticking their arms rigidly into the air and going 'Ugh..ugh...Mi-isssssssss' like the dirty little keenoes that they fucking are, and saying prcisely the same thing. And then crying when they are passed over, taking breath ONLY to reassure their mums that they DID know the answer and the moderaters 'never' choose THEM. Can I just remind you all that there is a forum for exactly this kind of thing at
Also I agree with Tony: anything north of Brittany and you're a cowardly, gouda munching, matchwood furniture buying, Abba loving BUMMER. IDST. - Mansh.
approved Jun 16 2005, submitted Jun 15 2005 by Name Withheld
When adolescence is reached, and "effort" is the scariest thing you can demonstrate, all Catch-22s can be reversed by replying to the original question with "Do you care?" If they say yes, they lose their cool detachment from the world (and can be called gay), and if they say no, then there is no need to answer their question as they don't care about the answer.
approved Dec 11 2003, submitted Dec 6 2003 by Name Withheld
Sorry to be an anal twat, but the reason that cyan and magenta were there is that they are just combinations of green and blue, and red and blue, respectively. Basically each of red, green and blue could be on or off for each pixel, allowing for 8 possible combinations.

God, this is dull. Still, it's nothing to do with publishing.
approved Oct 23 2003, submitted Oct 11 2003 by Name Withheld
The biscuit tin is where she keeps her biscuits, I should wager.
approved Oct 9 2003, submitted Oct 9 2003 by Name Withheld
After receiving his BCG, Duncan Horn proudly declared, "now I can't get arachnophobia".
approved Oct 9 2003, submitted Oct 9 2003 by Name Withheld
A haircut that has a "step" in it at about ear height round the back, so that instead of tapering from long to short the transition was sudden. Inexplicably fashionable for a short period in the early nineties, up until a few days before I had mine done.

Also see: Mackenzie Crooks hairdo in The Office. And the rhyme "Theres a BAS-in errigATION, and its RUINING the NATION." (Errigation sounded like an important word at the time. It was intended to mean "trend" or "epidemic". It actually means, um, nothing. I made it up.)
approved Jul 23 2003, submitted Jul 9 2003 by Name Withheld
Daring to wear white socks with your school uniform? You're not being rebellious, you are simply being a Kevin.

Woe betide the white-sock-clad rebel whose name really is Kevin.
approved Jul 9 2003, submitted Jul 8 2003 by Name Withheld
A type of washing up liquid that isn't actually Fairy Liquid, but shares an advertising agency.

On hearing Martin Newman singing "hands that do dishes feel as soft as your face, with my queen's Fairy Liquid", I informed him that the correct line was "mild green Fairy Liquid".

Rather than admit this simple mistake, he told me that actually he had been singing the advert for the other Fairy Liquid, whose full name was "My Queen's Fairy Liquid". Apparently they had used exactly the same tune and almost identical lyrics. Even Martin was surprised by this; the conversation ended with him saying "god knows why they used the same tune..." and giving a nervous laugh.

Phil says:
As joyous a tale of hole-diggery as this is, the fact remains that you were both singing along with washing up liquid adverts. The pair of you must be considered quite the double act at dinner parties.
approved Jul 9 2003, submitted Jul 5 2003 by Name Withheld
Whn Sam Underhill started going out with a girl called Holly, we all wrote "Holly Is A Slag" on every available surface, piece of paper, computer screen, etc. until they broke up. This happened around the time that she received someone's daubed homework through the post that had been rejected by the teacher, with a note attached asking her to re-do it as it was her fault for being such a slag.
approved Apr 29 2003, submitted Apr 15 2003 by Name Withheld
The sound one must make when launching handfuls of foam ripped from the bus seats out of the back window and onto the windscreen of the jeep behind, causing it to swerve wildly.
approved May 1 2003, submitted Apr 15 2003 by Name Withheld