The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Iain Mason
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At Shortlanesend Junior School, Cornwall, when you had farted you said 'Taxi' while putting your thumb on your forehead. There were no recriminations or other rules - this was really just a badge of pride in case anyone hadn't heard/smelt the guff. You were really saying: 'I've farted! Woo-hoo!'
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Iain Mason
Victim was approached and asked: 'Would you rather run a mile, jump a stile or eat a country pancake?' Hilarity ensued if the answer was the latter (as it usually was). A country pancake is a cowpat, y'see. Sadly if anybody gave the first or second answer, the riposte was not quite as cutting: 'Er, go on then.'
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Iain Mason
Mr Gregory was our geography teacher in year 2. We hated him, so formed (and my toes curl at the memory) the Anti Gregory Liberation Army.

The IRA and SAS can sleep easy in their beds - our rebellion stretched as far as making small badges with a picture of a beard drawn on with the wobbly green letters 'AGLA' underneath. These were then worn under the lapels of our blazers.

Our one tactical strike was putting the clock forward 10 minutes in lessons so we could get out early. Plot was foiled when Gregory, er, looked at his watch. No members of the AGLA ever went on to serve in the Gulf War.
approved Sep 25 2011, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Iain Mason