The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
jenny harper
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In middle school a boy was telling the class as part of story time that his little brother had what was called a 'colostomy bag'.
People started sniggering, much to the disgust of our teacher, but what finished us all off was when the boy tried to make us feel guilty, by yelling indignantly over the laughter - "MY BROTHER HAS NO WILLY!"
approved Jul 13 2004, submitted Feb 13 2004 by jenny harper
I was in the Muleclops Ding-Dong Banana Band. Our principal members were Melanie Whiplash Haystack III, Verucca Tipex, Valmon Darkfire and Princess Leia (real name David). My solo project 'I spanked your dad' was not nearly as successful.
approved Feb 13 2004, submitted Feb 13 2004 by jenny harper
Another way of avoiding swimming for girls was to say you had your period. When you did so the teacher would put a 'P' by your name. Presumably to keep track of the amount of girls having four periods a month to avoid going into the foul outdoor pool, which was full of dead bees and piss.
approved Sep 29 2003, submitted Jul 22 2003 by jenny harper
Kiss chase could also be extremely dangerous. I, for one, broke my arm chasing a weedy little boy. Damn, I wanted that kiss.
approved Sep 22 2003, submitted Jul 22 2003 by jenny harper
At a time when 2unlimited shit classic "No Limits" was riding high in the charts, this became a brief insult for the bigger nosed members of the school. In particular, Nathan.
Nose Nose, Nose-Nose
Nose Nose, Nose-Nose
Nose Nose, Your Nose
(suggested optional extra :
it knows no limits - it reaches the sky,
it flies round the room - and pokes out my eye
- Log)
approved Sep 24 2003, submitted Jul 15 2003 by jenny harper