The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Jon N
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My Aunt Nellie had a hole in her belly
And a hole in the biscuit tin
She was sitting on the grass
With her finger up her arse
And her tits going ding-a-ling-a-ling.

If anybody has any theories as to where the biscuit tin fits in to all this, I'd love to know.
approved Sep 26 2003, submitted Sep 26 2003 by Jon N
Nickname bestowed upon George Cornish after he managed to nick roughly half of the contents of the Imperial War Museum's gift shop, using only his trouser and blazer pockets to stash the booty.

Although why anyone would want to steal powdered egg or a pencil sharpener shaped like a nazi is a mystery.
approved Nov 4 2003, submitted Sep 17 2003 by Jon N
ms.
In the time pre-post-feminism, this was the title of choice for some female teachers who refused to be identified on the basis of their marital status.
Roughly translates as too old to be single, too dowdy to be married. Whispered accusations of lesbianism would follow.
approved Sep 25 2003, submitted Sep 17 2003 by Jon N