The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Bob McBride
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During a biology lesson, Derek Parker claimed there was a badger sett in the woods close to his home, so the teacher organised a field trip to study it.
Early on a Saturday morning several young boys duly arrived at the woods near Parker's house with a camera to take photographs of the badgers.
Naturally, the sett couldn't be found, and it was suspected that, much like Parker's uncle who built a talking robot, the whole thing had been a figment of the boy's imagination.
Getting everyone up early on a Saturday to participate in a fictious extra-curricular activity should have been sufficient grounds for a beating, but when the film in the camera was developed, it transpired that Parker had sneaked off with it and used it to take photographs of his cock.
approved Mar 11 2004, submitted Jan 27 2004 by Bob McBride
Brenton Stanton smelled, and he had a head the same shape as a small bucket; but he never cried if he fell over. He had a brother called Royson who also smelled but who grew up to father four children who didn't. Despite his strange name no one picked on him because he had a real leather football and his father looked like Ian Brady.
approved Feb 2 2004, submitted Jan 12 2004 by Bob McBride
Ah, I see what you mean. Yes, it reads as if the straw was clinically, almost surgically, inserted up his arse, which would, of course, imply seriously flawed behaviour in chaps of any age.
Nothing of the sort. We merely grabbed rough handfuls of straw (We lived in a rural community) and rammed them manfully and light-heartedly up his arse.
Sorry about any misunderstanding.
approved Oct 10 2003, submitted Oct 9 2003 by Bob McBride
(A note from the editors. We're not perfect here - we occasionally approve urban legends, or simply rubbish entries. But we feel that you shouldn't be deprived of some of the richer entries that we have to plough through. To this end, we give you 'tying terry up and pissing on him'. Make your own mind up.)

It would be nice to claim some structured or artistic reason for it but there wasn't one. The pastime simply entailed tying Terry up and then pissing on him. Oh, and we shoved straw up his arse sometimes, as well
Bizarrely, whenever we called for him to come out to play with us he always did.
approved Oct 7 2003, submitted Oct 3 2003 by Bob McBride