The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
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The reactivity series of metals (potassium, sodium, calcium, magnesium, aluminium, zinc, iron, lead, hydrogen, copper, silver, gold) may be rendered mnenomically as 'Pauline's Smelly Cunt Made Andrew's Zoo In Leeds' Hippopotamus Catch Syphilis and Gangrene.
Effective? The co-author (my mate Colin) is now a professional metallurgist with a fucking doctorate and everything. True.
approved Apr 11 2006, submitted Apr 10 2006 by Name Withheld
My mate got his mum to embroider the full Marillion logo on his bag in wool, proving astonishing dedication in the public advertisement of a shit taste in music. Sacks came from army surplus stores in yellow, blue or black, though the last of these was less good as it allowed less opportunity for decoration.

The truly hard could place theirs in the bus queue and saunter off to the shops, knowing that the personalized sacks, recognized by all like a medieval barons livery, would hold their place for them. Hopeless geeks like me, pathetic enough to draw the African National Congress flag on mine in a spasm of late 1980s adolescent political consciousness, could not.
approved Oct 23 2003, submitted Oct 3 2003 by Name Withheld