The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
St. Polycarps
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Terrorvision's single of 1994, which condemned a number of Alices to displays of melodramatic sympathy should they be anything other than hysterically happy.

It should be said the most caring way possible, with puppy dog eyes if possible, whilst empathetically feeling her pain. Ideally, the teacher will interrupt this minor bullying with the question "Alice, what's the matter?"
approved Dec 17 2003, submitted Dec 17 2003 by St. Polycarps
At primary school there was a boy called Tom who had orange wee. During toilet breaks, we'd line up at the trough-style urinal with Tom at one end and the rest of us at the other. The idea of the game was to repel Tom's orange wee with normal yellow piss for as long as possible. The game ended when Tom declared that his mum had taken him to see the doctor and he wouldn't be pissing orange any more.
approved Oct 21 2003, submitted Oct 21 2003 by St. Polycarps