The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Jasmine Strong
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Nobody seems to believe me when I tell them that Gary Jones, A-level physics lecturer extraordinaire, once jumped onto the front bench and shouted "Physics! It's orgasmic!" at the top of his voice. While it's true that the proof he'd demonstrated was quite neat, it wasn't quite enough to make me spaff my knickers.

This wasn't even particularly strange behaviour for the honourable Mr Jones. On another occasion he arrived half an hour late and proceded to tell us how Uri Geller had broken his car radio.

I miss that man.
approved Apr 14 2005, submitted Feb 23 2004 by Jasmine Strong
Our maths teacher at A-level was a William Phillip Gill. The lack of forethought on the part of his parents was only rivalled by his own. If he'd been a primary school teacher, there'd have been a fair chance that nobody would have twigged that his name was, in fact, Bill Phil Gill.
He had his own theme tune. It rhymed 'Gill' with 'cunt', as I recall.
(I knew someone called Wilfred Wilberforce Willwong at University. Triple Will. He came to England from Trinidad without a faith, studied every religion, and chose Catholicism. Curazy dheys. -Log)
approved Sep 30 2004, submitted Feb 23 2004 by Jasmine Strong
Our RE teacher, before her nervous breakdown, was a rabid Christian of the very worst kind. Unfortunately she was responsible for marking the end of year exam paper in comparative religion. We were asked "What are the main features of Taoism?"

Those of us who answered correctly did extremely badly on this exam, as the answer she was looking for was something along the lines of "godless heathen mud people."
approved Apr 17 2005, submitted Feb 22 2004 by Jasmine Strong
approved Feb 22 2004, submitted Feb 18 2004 by Name Withheld, Neil Aspinall, Name Withheld, Name Withheld, Jasmine Strong
Zoe was nicknamed 'Casio'. She believed it was because she had a brilliant mathematical mind - like a pocket calculator. In fact, as you may remember from lessons about iron smelting, CaSiO3 is the chemical formula for slag.
approved Dec 24 2003, submitted Dec 24 2003 by Jasmine Strong
The BBC Micro was better. Much better. Just a shame that everyone who owned one went on to either appear on Countdown or cultivate an interest in women's clothing.
approved Dec 22 2003, submitted Oct 28 2003 by Jasmine Strong