The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Pete Smith
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I forget her name, but she would have been quite attractive if
(a) She didn't bear a disturbing family resemblance to David.
(b) She didn't constantly stink of cat piss.
approved Oct 29 2003, submitted Oct 28 2003 by Pete Smith
More commonly known as a 'setsquare', this pretentiously named weapon could do untold damage to the neck, thanks to its three mighty blades, or corners.
approved Apr 16 2005, submitted Oct 28 2003 by Pete Smith
Favourite television programme of Mark Foster, who would constantly ask me if I'd seen the most recent episode and then look at me in disbelief when I told him I'd never heard of it. It was about a year before I realised he was talking about "The Fall Guy" which, of course, I watched all the time.

(At the time Mark was receiving regular speech therapy)
approved Nov 4 2003, submitted Oct 28 2003 by Pete Smith
The standard, boring sandwich found in an average school packed lunch could be converted into a spectacularly crunchy culinary delight by the deceptively simple act of adding a layer of crisps between the bread and filling. I cannot remember a single instance of anyone not doing this at my infant/junior school.

I recently started doing this again after a break of around twenty years and am at a loss to understand why I ever stopped.
approved Oct 29 2003, submitted Oct 28 2003 by Pete Smith