The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
John Garner
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Friends carring matches in a trouser pocket provided the raw material for an invisible, yet more rewarding genie. Give them a good big kick in the match pocket, dragging your foot down on impact. There was a one in ten chance of a genie going off in the pocket, causing some "Jesus" and "fuck". If the genie didn't go off, at least you'd kicked someone.
Similarly, friends gained: none.
approved Jul 12 2004, submitted Apr 23 2004 by John Garner
Our combined science teacher told us this...
An exam paper began. Please read all questions before starting. There were 100 questions, the last question said. "Don't answer any of the above questions".
1. That's not a question,

2. It's bullshit.

3. He has over 15 job interviews at other schools in one year and didn't get a single one.

approved Feb 16 2004, submitted Nov 27 2003 by John Garner