The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Paul Heath
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Used to express disbelief. Also;
Yeah, and my dad drives a tank
Yeah, and my brother can dance on clouds
Yeah, and I can walk through parsley.
Yeah, and I've never eaten a Kit Kat.
The last one turned out to be a bastard ruse from a kid with a rubbish packed lunch who wanted to eat some of my Kit Kat.
approved Sep 17 2003, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Tony Gardner, Paul Heath
The Willy Worms were football playing penises with faces. They were born in an art lesson when we were instructed to draw a picture of a disaster. Stephen Lodziak opted for a pen and ink rendering of 50,000 people trying to get into the 9,000 capacity Abbey Stadium for a Queen concert and being crushed to death, Hillsborough-style. Despite this, the disaster was that a boy in the foreground, arriving late for the gig, had fallen off his bike and grazed his knee slightly. While Stephen was in the toilet the rest of us added an impromptu rendering of The Willy Worms having a kickaround to the exisiting masterpiece. When our exceptionally camp teacher Mr Salisbury came over to assess our work, he looked at Stephen's picture, put a comforting arm around his shoulder and with a weak smile said "Are you feeling better now?"
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Paul Heath
Martin would be asked a question. If he answered it correctly he was kicked once. If he answered incorrectly he was kicked twice. If he didn't answer at all he was kicked until he did. Best question therefore were along the lines of "Do you shag dogs" or "Do you rim old men?" where the only way to minimise the abuse was to give the "correct" answer of Yes.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Paul Heath
Combination of the bundle (a.k.a. pile on, all pile on, bundlefly project) and the jewfinder general technique of rolling a penny along the floor. The picker up of the penny is the jew - and everyone jumps on them. A harsher version is where the penny is thrown at the potential Jew, and they are covered in boys if it hits them.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Jon Blyth, Paul Heath