The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Mike Gavin
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If girls become wary of you when you tell them that there is a spider in their hair, you can convince them that no, really - there really is a spider in their hair this time - by saying "no, really - there really is a spider in your hair this time".
If more persuasion is required;
Level 1 : There is a spider in your hair.
Level 2 : No really - there really is a spider in your hair this time.
Level 3 : Oh God, there's a really big spider in your hair. Everyone, come and look at the really big spider!
Level 4 : It... it looks like it's laying eggs...
Level 5 : Look, I know I've been saying this a lot recently, and at the back of my mind, I realised a time would come when one day, you really might have a spider in your hair. I think I was hiding from that possibility, hoping it would never come, because I knew you wouldn't believe me when I told you. But honestly, this time, there is a massive spider in your hair, and from the markings I think it's poisonous. I don't expect you to believe me, I guess I've dug my own grave in that respect, but please - please seek help regarding the oversized spider that's running amok in your lovely hair. You must tell me your hairdresser, by the way.
approved Oct 26 2004, submitted Oct 15 2004 by Mike Gavin, Jon Blyth
After teaching the class that black surfaces absorb light, this concept caused my science teacher to leave the room for a good ten minutes.
I like to imagine that she ran around every other classroom in the building, saying "how can black things be shiny?"
approved Oct 21 2004, submitted Oct 14 2004 by Mike Gavin
A horizontal variation on binning involved trapping Ben Egan in a small cupboard with glass sliding doors. After we got bored of looking at him, we turned the cupboard to face the wall.
approved Oct 13 2004, submitted Oct 13 2004 by Mike Gavin