The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
nicotineman the 3rd
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Blackboard filth contests were taken to a whole new height of rudeness by the immortal line "suck the virgin mary's smelly cunt 666", discovered one morning by our registration class.
Unfortunately, some girls removed it before it was seen by any teacher, so this story doesn't have the "and-then-miss's-eyes-popped-out-in-shock-she-started-crying-then-had-a-nervous-breakdown" ending that I would have liked. Stupid girls.
approved Oct 4 2004, submitted Dec 27 2003 by nicotineman the 3rd
Natural target Mark regularly used to try this as a mental defence mechanism whenever he was subjected to physical torture, involving him saying "I AM A ROBOT. YOU CAN NOT HURT ME." in a metallic-sounding voice. This statement stood in stark opposition to the fact that we could, and did.
approved Feb 2 2004, submitted Dec 26 2003 by nicotineman the 3rd
Goats will happily eat tiny frogs if they are wrapped up in leaves, greek style.
If you don't have goats around, the only other use for tiny frogs (whose anuses are too small to slip Calypso straws into) is to practice roundhouse kicks by throwing them into the air, and kicking them into a kind of dead dimension as they land.
approved Jun 21 2004, submitted Dec 26 2003 by nicotineman the 3rd