The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Search LOTP
Alternatively, attach one end of a metal slinky spring to one of the blades, retire to a safe distance and switch on. Congratulations! You've just created a whirling blade of terror causing maximum damage over a large area, with the brilliant included risk of blinding everyone in the room.
approved Mar 25 2006, submitted Jan 4 2006 by Name Withheld
Fond memories of primary school soggy boggies (q.v.) ensured that this habit died hard, and so many a breaktime in the first year of secondary school was spent rolling bits of the school-forged chocolate slab cakes into balls and throwing them at the polystyrene tiling of the canteen.

After a few weeks of this entertaining but artistically somewhat naïve practice, postmodernism set in when someone stood on a table to carefully attach a slice of cucumber onto the most recent crop of cake-based ceiling adornment.

The next day, the cucumber was still there. Days turned into weeks turned into months, and still it remained, clinging defiantly to the ceiling.
To our surprise and joy, it was still there when we started our second year the following September.

We made a pilgrimage to this spot after our last AS level exam, and lo and behold, there it was; brown, shrivelled, twisted, shrunken, but still recognisable as our very own slice of cucumber.

Our last AS exam was in May 2002. If anyone reading this is currently at Poynton High School, could you see if it's still there? If you enter the canteen from the main entrance, it's slightly away from the far right corner, the one with the heater thing on one wall and the windows/fire exit on the other.
approved Apr 20 2005, submitted Mar 13 2004 by Name Withheld
Otherwise known as Catch-22 579268b.
Approach a male friend, and make him agree, for the purpose of this conversation to use the phrase "Right On!" to signify "Yes", and to use its logical opposite, "Right Off", to mean "No".
Next, ask a series of fairly benign yes/no questions, for example:
1/ "Is your name [their name]?"
2/ "Have you ever got in trouble with the headteacher?"
3/ "Have you ever kissed a girl/[insert girls name]?"
Finally, ask "have you ever pulled a boy's willy off?"
approved Apr 15 2004, submitted Mar 13 2004 by Name Withheld