The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
stuart heritage
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The phrase which inexplicably made Ian May cry.
approved Jul 13 2004, submitted May 3 2004 by stuart heritage
Chris Pankhurst's little catchphrase was Jammy Dodger. As in "you jammy dodger". Obviously, this is an awful catchphrase, and when an entire class rounded on him for saying such shit so often, he flew into a genuinely terrifying rage, and screamed "YOU JAMMY... SCORPION"

Clearly, he required the opposite of a dodger. Which is a scorpion. Clearly.
approved Oct 14 2011, submitted May 3 2004 by stuart heritage