The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Abby Normal
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Leah Williams once attempted to ostracise me from my peers by announcing that she'd seen a dog flea in my hair. I didn't own a dog, and she confessed that she'd planted the dog flea in my hair herself. This suggested that she had a ready supply about her person. I put this to the jury, but my rumoured flea had caught the class's imagination, and nobody wanted to bully her instead.
approved Jan 17 2007, submitted Oct 23 2006 by Abby Normal
In girl scouts, we had a song that went "Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other is gold." which we promptly adapted to "Kick new friends but pee on the old; one is slimy and the other is mould." Don't ask.
approved Apr 12 2005, submitted May 14 2004 by Abby Normal
Our RE teacher added, "I saw a circumcision once. It put me right off spaghetti hoops".
approved Jun 15 2004, submitted Nov 5 2003 by Abby Normal