The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Ed Thomas
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One afternoon everybody at my (boys) school was summoned to a special assembly by the headmaster. He was furious, literally shaking with rage.
"Now, you may have heard rumours of an... incident... between two members of the college last night," he began.
Cue a collective "Oooooooh..." from the pupils.
"This sort of behaviour is utterly unacceptable in civilised society, and rest assured, the offender has been severely punished."
400 kids lean forwards trembling with prurient interest.
"Let me set the scene. X, a member of my prefect team, enticed young Y (a year nine) into his room with the promise of sweets."
Breaths are bated. Surely not? Surely?
"Once getting him in the room, X locked the door so Y could not escape. He reached into his trousers, and pulled out..."
400 kids all desperately think "Please say cock please say cock"
"A BB gun!"
Cue chorus of disappointed moans.
This assembly led to the only example I can think of of a year nine being repeatedly beaten up because he HADN'T been raped. Tsk, public schools, eh?
approved Sep 25 2005, submitted Aug 4 2005 by Ed Thomas