The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Ben Reynolds
Search LOTP
To 'snorkel' is to walk as if wearing deep-sea-diving flippers and waving your arms up and down. This had to be done just out of sight of a teacher while the rest of the class tried not to laugh. If someone laughed and the teacher didn't catch the snorkeler then they became 'the snorkeling snorkel-king' which was a position held in high regard.nnThe origins of this are so cruel that I can't believe I used to snorkel. Amanda has severe learning difficulties and had lost her ability to show emotions (such as laugh or cry) as a result of a serious car accident. The accident was explained to a class of twelve-year-olds as follows:nn"Amanda came out of the school gates last night and saw her mother on the other side of the road. Unfortunately she didn't see the car coming as she was wearing a Snorkel"nnTo the teacher a 'Snorkel' was a navy blue jacket with orange lining (made by Lord Anthony) with a fake-fur hood that when zipped up gave you tunnel vision. This obviously explained how the accident happened. However, thirty twelve year olds all imagined Amanda running across the road wearing a 'snorkel', face mask and flippers. The outburst of laughter landed all of us in detention for a full term and was instantly recognised as THE cruelest subject to joke about.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Ben Reynolds
Michael's mum cut his hair into a long page-boy style some time in the late 70's. We would take turns sneaking up behind him with scissors and cut a big chunk out of the perfect hair to the rally of hair cut! His mum would then cut it again to even it up. Within a matter of weeks he was a skinhead. Bullying with scissors was great if he started to lose it you could wave them in his face and he would quickly back down. This was a valuable introduction to weaponry. NEVER run with them though.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Ben Reynolds