The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
pert bert
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I saw your mum
She opened up her legs, I gave her one.
It wasn't funny
But she needed the money.

If shagging your friend's mum was funny, or if she was independently wealthy and just whoring herself for kicks, you could substitute the last two lines with

It was fantastic
Totally elastic!

The lack of an alternative for well-to-do mums with bucket fannies is presumably down to their penchant for consulting with plastic surgeons and getting an 'elastic' nip n tuck to the old bacon sandwich.
approved Apr 27 2005, submitted Apr 27 2005 by pert bert