The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Holly
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The "Your Mum" game consists of luring your opponent into asking the question "who?" to which you respond with "YOUR MUM!!" and are then the winner. Hours of fun.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Holly
Chorused, often in crescendo, at anyone breaking those petty primary school rules such as underlining the date but not the title. "Ummmmm, I'm telling of yooooou."
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Holly
"I'm telling of you" meaning I don't like you and I am going to report your (real or made-up) bad behaviour to the teacher who likes me best and you least. Ha ha. I'm telling of you.
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Holly
Pupils of opposite sexes were required, by this ridiculous rule, to remain no less than six inches apart whilst on the school's premises. Frequent were the boasts of male pupils that they could be get intimate with their girlfriends, whilst remaining six inches apart, as they were "hung like a donkey".
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Holly
MERVYN : "I've got a Mervyn" - my knickers are wedged somewhere between my buttocks and are, therefore, causing me discomfort. In order to yank them out discreetly, one must confide in a friend, "I've got a Mervyn", so that they can walk behind you, forming a shield.
MELVYN : "I've got a Melvyn" - for some reason I have been running about in a pair of ill-fitting tights. The motion of my legs and arse has caused the tights to slowly wend their way down my thighs. The crotch is now suspended between my knees, allowing me to part my feet by no more than six inches, and meaning that the cold air is now circulating around my knickers, buttocks and upper thighs. Don't run in ill-fitting pairs of tights, you will only end up with a Melvyn.
MAUSTYN : "I've got a Maustyn" (pronounced "Moss-tin"). My sleeping bag zip is very stiff, and while I was fiercely yanking it up, I somehow managed to wedge the end up my arse. This is most painful, but results in much mirth at sleepovers. Whoever looks most uncomfortable has definitely got a Maustyn.
approved Dec 10 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Holly
Dirty, Fat, Sod. Applied to any overweight boys who had shown an interest in sex. Seriously, how dare they?
approved Nov 24 2002, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Holly