The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
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Oi, Crawley, I had an Amstrad CPC464, and I loved it. Roland On The Ropes is a winner. I could never get....
Yeah. Blah blah fucking blah. This is 'Law Of The Playground', not 'Law Of The Fucking Never Had Sex With Another Person And Not Fucking Likely To, As I Spend My Entire Life In Fucking Maplins', you know.
approved Jun 2 2006, submitted May 31 2006 by Name Withheld
Helen Bailey walked up to the teacher's desk in Y4 of primary school, picked up her 30cm Helix shatterproof ruler and snapped it right in front of her. I was stood right next to her. Laughed my pre-pubescent cock off.
approved Jun 25 2006, submitted May 29 2006 by Name Withheld
In a desperate bid to end the scrunched-up paper-ball war that erupted in the middle of a chemistry lesson, our substitute teacher took an unusual step.
Adam had belted one at the whiteboard which, unfortunately, connected with the teacher's forehead. He told Adam to come to the front of the class, while drawing a circle on the white board. Adam was then intructed to put his nose in the circle, presumably in the same way that dog's noses are rubbed in shit.
With a patronising disdain, Adam eyed the substitute, emitted a weary 'Oh, do fuck off', and elected to send himself out of the class with a swagger, to a ripple of awestruck applause. The look of eyebrow-raised disbelief on the substitute's face suggested the law of immunity in excess had been applied.
approved Aug 20 2006, submitted May 23 2006 by Name Withheld
Q: What do Ethiopians do at night?
A: Starve.
approved Sep 25 2011, submitted May 22 2006 by Name Withheld