The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Woggy M
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A girl - let's call her TS-B, made the error in secondary school of declaring to everyone that she had shagged Tom Cruise. We told her she was lying, but she wouldn't confess - so it was her own fault that her sexual appetite had a kind of open season declared on it. She started it.

"She put a hamster in her vag face first and it suffocated."

"She put stick insects up her fanny. They all died."
approved Oct 2 2011, submitted Jul 19 2006 by Woggy M
An insult invented by Mark Dunst and lasted for some years in secondary; just another average obscenity to shout at friends and squares.
approved Jul 20 2006, submitted Jul 19 2006 by Woggy M
In Primary, the boys and girls loos were next to each other, separated by a wall. Me and a friend worked out a rythm of banging on the walls to the girls with our fists which meant we wanted to have sex with them. If they answered back with the correct return code, it was on. They never did get the return code correct.
One is left with the enduring image of a bunch of girls, standing in a toilet, listening with marked bemusement to the sounds of excited banging emenating from the boy's bathroom - Jamie.
approved Sep 11 2006, submitted Jul 19 2006 by Woggy M
The practice of using a black fineline pen to give the players on Panini football stickers giant afros. Each afro should be bigger than the previous one - students may use an extra sheet of paper if necessary. It is only polite to shout "EXTENDER HEAD!" when you are drawing.
approved Jul 20 2006, submitted Jul 19 2006 by Woggy M
At primary school there was a phase for building 'camps' along the edges of the playing fields. Pupils would dig out little trenches for toy cars and figures to play in. There were a lot of jealous reconnaissance strolls along the fields to check out the size and complexity of rival camps. Two of us had one along the back, and we planned to dig with tiny sticks under the train track so that we could run away to the Mysterious Cities of Gold. We didn't get very far.
approved Jul 20 2006, submitted Jul 19 2006 by Woggy M