The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Dunc Cameron
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The "DJ" button on some Yamaha keyboards has to be the greatest ever button ever made ever, anywhere, on anything.

Pressing it unleashes a loud shout of "DJ!", which for some strange reason seems to infuriate music teachers. It also changes all the keys to various "DJ" sounds, including several orgasmic moans.

When our music teacher told Alan to press the DJ button until he got bored of it, I think Alan believed he had died and gone to heaven.
approved Jul 25 2006, submitted Jul 25 2006 by Dunc Cameron
A "CAST" diagram consists of Cosine, All, Sine and Tangent arranged in a little box with "SA" on the top and "TC" on the bottom. I've forgetten what this is actually for, but our Maths teacher, Shabaz Ahmed, taught us the mnemonic All Students Try Cannabis (reading anti-clockwise from A).

Despite this, I'll always remember it as Ahmed Snatches Tiny Children.
approved Aug 16 2006, submitted Jul 23 2006 by Dunc Cameron