The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Andrew Tyers
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A hobby less exciting and dynamic than train spotting. Peter and Kenneth had notebooks packed with bus registration numbers which they'd show us if we feigned interest for a fraction of a second.
How Kenneth got into bus spotting was actually a charming story. "I remember seeing a book bus outside my window when I was five and it was all painted and I just started liking busses". Aw.
approved Feb 26 2003, submitted Jan 20 2003 by Andrew Tyers
An alternative ending involves the removal of Christ's testicles by the dustbin lid:

#Jesus Christ, superstar, drove 'round to school in a Yamaha, did a skid, killed a kid, chopped off his balls with a dustbin lid#
approved Dec 14 2002, submitted Dec 14 2002 by Andrew Tyers
The real way to raise Lucifer from the pit is to have a load of kids all link pinkies in a big circle, close our eyes and chant "Satan come and scratch us". He actually managed to scratch a few people's faces.
Why he didn't just kill us is beyond me. Maybe he's shy.
approved Dec 14 2002, submitted Dec 13 2002 by Andrew Tyers