The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Andrew Osler
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(etymology thereof): I think this came from the popularity of the second series of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet which aired around 86/87. It was a favourite of Oz when confronted by an attractive example of the fairer sex. It went round my workplace recently when Pet was re-run on UK Gold.
approved Jul 3 2003, submitted Feb 26 2003 by Andrew Osler
We would do speednobs by drawing the knob on our thumbs with a biro, then firmly planting the thumb on someone else's textbook. Rest of the lesson would be spent trying to get the knob off your own thumb.

(This is an idiot's version of the rubber stamp speednob variant. I love the mixture of make-do ingenuity and blind stupidity. - Log.)
approved May 2 2003, submitted Jan 24 2003 by Andrew Osler
One kid in my English class got a big glob of chewing gum stuck in his hair. The teacher (knowing full well what would happen) told him to go up to the chemistry labs and see one of the lab assistants, they would have a special chemical that would remove the gum. He went up there and told the lab assistant on duty of his predicament, she took a big pair of scissors out of her desk, and viciously hacked the gum and about a quarter of the hair from his head.
approved May 2 2003, submitted Jan 24 2003 by Andrew Osler