The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Donkey Kong
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A team effort requiring patience, a streaming cold and a strong stomach.

By coating a radiator with snot and phlegm and leaving it to bake hard, it is possible to 'grow', over the course of a few weeks, a material akin to snakeskin. Further prosthetic enhancements (especially ears and lips) can be made from the Hubba Bubba mountains on the undersides of the desks.

All you need to do then is find someone on whom to perform a unique makeover.
approved Feb 27 2003, submitted Feb 27 2003 by Donkey Kong
Overweight, possibly asthmatic boy runs wheezing across the playground with a look of terror in his eyes. Just before he can reach the relative safety of the canteen, the pack of ten or more lads descend upon him and take turns to fart without restraint on his face. Next time a kid from the year above asks him if he'd like some chocolate, he'll say "no thanks".
approved Feb 27 2003, submitted Feb 27 2003 by Donkey Kong
Collective term for any gang of lads from a rival school. Only one of them needs to be wearing a denim jacket for this term to be applied to all. The terrace style chant “gayboydenims, gayboydenims” (repeat x32) will eventually create a rift within the rival gang that will tear them apart.
approved Feb 22 2003, submitted Feb 12 2003 by Donkey Kong
Ask the victim whether they like Playboy or Playgirl?
Boys will generally reply er, Playgirl... I mean Playboy. Cue much laughter as you loudly repeat their first answer for anyone in earshot whilst jumping up and down and pointing.
approved Mar 10 2003, submitted Feb 12 2003 by Donkey Kong