The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
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What's the difference between an Ethiopian and a tennis ball?
Five grams.
Although other differences between an Ethiopian and a tennis ball are more immediately obvious - green fur, for one. Except when the Ethiopian has died of starvation and is covered in algae, if indeed algae grows on dead people.
approved Apr 29 2003, submitted Feb 22 2003 by Name Withheld
I'm not sure if this counts as a playground memory, seeing as how I was nearly 35 at the time it happened, but I was a teacher in Detroit, Michigan, USA, when one of my students came to me crying.
He had been "playing the dozens, you see (a game in which you engage in singular combat making fun of one another's mother. High comedy. I still do it myself) and another player had pointed out that, "DeShaun, you're mother is so ugly she could win the Dead Momma Beauty Pageant." It turned out that DeShaun's mother was, indeed, dead.
So she could, realistically, have won this pageant. DeShuan disagreed.
approved Mar 7 2003, submitted Feb 22 2003 by Name Withheld
We had the same sort of thing in the US. More of a dangly-orangy. We'd drink orange juice, leaving a nice, sticky, orange mess in one's mouth in place of spit. Then we'd do the dangle.
Someone had the genuinely bright idea of using potato chips (crisps to the Brits) as targets. Bonus points would be awarded if you could dangle your spit, pick up a chip, and direct it to your mouth.
approved Mar 17 2003, submitted Feb 22 2003 by Name Withheld