The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Kate S
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Oh! Oh! I drew a picture of a Mars Bar Party during a german exchange visit. Featuring Florian, who was the brother of one of the german girls.
We were under the impression that continental europe was a liberal, eurotrashesque utopia of unshockable, if style-less people. So we showed, (and explained) the picture to the german host family. And then had to live with them for another week.
approved Sep 29 2004, submitted Jan 25 2004 by Kate S
When we commented on the sounds that Laura Burbela made in the toilets, she claimed that it was because she had dropped two pound coins in the bowl.
Now, none of us believed the pikey bint ever actually had 2 quid on her, but she kept up the act, even putting her hand down the loo, and trying to reach them. Of course, reaching into pissy water to touch her own shits was all we expected of her, so she didn't lose too much status.
This is the girl who - when I asked her why she walked like she'd shat herself - claimed she had shat herself. Forwhy? It kept her bum succulent.
Anyway, everyone knows the standard procedure for shitting in public; if you're going to shit with people listening, catch it on your toilet paper covered hand and lower it in to the loo carefully, so no one hears you. Remember to piss too, though, or they'll think you went in there to put in a tampon, which is sick.
Laura is welcome to come back at me with some awful revelation, if she's reading this. But she'd be lying. Because I was perfect. And dead popular.
Laura Burbela, the gloves are OFF - dish the shit on Kate S IMMEDIATELY - Log
approved Oct 1 2004, submitted Jan 25 2004 by Kate S
Alternate version;
My little pony, skinny and bony,
under the table, drinking black label.
Not the most shocking version, but quite cute I suppose.
approved Mar 10 2003, submitted Mar 9 2003 by Kate S
Ahem? I'm from the north east and we always said Owwwhhhrrrrr. Yes, spelled just like that.
approved Apr 30 2003, submitted Mar 9 2003 by Kate S
Laughter is inappropriate both when you are told that your Geography teacher is dead, and also when some rich bitch comes into class in tears because her smack-head aunt had become a cabbage and had her life support turned off. Inappropriate, but irresistible.
approved Mar 10 2003, submitted Mar 9 2003 by Kate S