The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Nath Dogg
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Very short-lived craze of tickling the underside of your schoolmate's chins whilst exclaiming "dring! dring!"
Considering how gay this was, I'm amazed I didn't get rightfully beaten up.
approved Sep 17 2003, submitted Sep 8 2003 by Nath Dogg
Gentle art of running about a quarter of the distance you're supposed to by ducking into a graveyard and waiting for the runners to come round again. Under no circumstances should one recommence as the leaders come through, therefore breaking ones personal best by about ten minutes and getting thrust into the school team, only to embarass yourself when trailing in last by a huge margin at an inter-school event.
approved Sep 9 2003, submitted Sep 8 2003 by Nath Dogg
Toilet game perfected by Nick Edy, who would hurl a piss-drenched swaddling of tissue into an occupied cubicle, soaking anyone foolish enough to be ejecting brown at school.
approved Sep 9 2003, submitted Sep 8 2003 by Nath Dogg
mum
What not to call ones chemistry teacher in class, or any other time for that matter. Unless, by some strange quirk of fate she is your mum, but that would make you her uncle or something.
approved Sep 24 2003, submitted Sep 8 2003 by Nath Dogg
The evil glare a teacher would give you after some minor wrongdoing. The more brave the recipient the worse the burn, causing some pupils to fall off their chair screaming "my eyes, I can't see" or suchlike. Pupils can give the teacher laser eyes in return by holding pencils, pens and rulers next to their eyes directed at the teacher until he asks you to "stop being so bloody stupid and put those things down, Christ!"
approved May 2 2003, submitted Apr 4 2003 by Nath Dogg
Physics teacher seating Luke Smith on a bench, then clambering onto his desk and hurling down the biggest fucking book he could find. Thus gravity is demonstrated.
approved Mar 19 2003, submitted Mar 19 2003 by Nath Dogg
The practice of putting one's bag on the floor in the chemistry or biology labs, generally anywhere where there is potential danger. Someone would then be required to do a comedy trip over said bag whilst screaming "health hazard" in an attempt to get the bag removed. Practice was stopped when one comedy faller knocked loads of test tubes over and fell on them, cutting his hands to ribbons.
approved Apr 29 2003, submitted Mar 18 2003 by Nath Dogg