The Law of the Playground
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adrian lamb
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An undiscovered anagram of which is "Bad Anal Rim". Thankfully, no-one found out - I had the piss taken quite enough already.
approved Oct 16 2011, submitted Nov 24 2002 by Adrian Lamb
Similarly, Sam Bruce can be amended to "bum scare". Also, my middle name is Alan. I'd like to encourage other readers with names amenable to anagrammatic bumfoolery to post; perhaps we could start a support group?
approved Jan 18 2003, submitted Dec 30 2002 by Sam Bruce
Ah, well my name is Nick Hunt, which, whilst not forming any anally related anagrams, does provide endless hours of entertainment. Prick Cunt, Dick Cunt, Nick Cunt, Cunt Cunt, you name it, I'll have heard them all. All of them. Every. Single. One.

(You missed "Lick Cunt." Susan xx)
approved Feb 5 2003, submitted Jan 24 2003 by Nick Hunt, Susan Tobacco
Even teachers found it hard not to smirk at Richard Michael "Dick Mike" Hunt.
approved Feb 10 2003, submitted Feb 6 2003 by Dennis McPoodle
Well with mine being Richard William Lowe - Dick Willie Lowe :-(
approved Apr 23 2003, submitted Mar 11 2003 by anonymous user
Well, if I must. A few years ago a friend gave out christmas cards with anagrams of everyones names on. The bastich managed to turn Martin Appleton into "Rotten Anal Pimp", for which I am most ungrateful.
approved Mar 18 2003, submitted Mar 18 2003 by Martin Appleton
Also consistently staggering is the inappropriate naming of a child as Richard with certain surnames. Hare, Spray, Spring, Lovatt are just four of the ones I know, and that's not even counting the hilarious Jasper Carrott "Richard Dick aka Double Dick" routine. Yes, I know it's old stuff, but if it's good enough for King Carrott, it's good enough for The Law of the Fucking Playground.
approved Aug 5 2003, submitted Jul 22 2003 by anonymous user
My name's an anagram of "an anal elephant deity", but no-one at school was very interested. They preferred punching my face to engaging in amusing word play.
approved Oct 21 2003, submitted Oct 20 2003 by Nathaniel Tapley
My friend's name was Clint Walker. You've probably already guessed, but with a couple of quick pen strokes, you have Cunt Wanker.
Every school year was a dash to steal his books from his bag, administer these pen strokes, then politely return the books.
approved Dec 4 2003, submitted Nov 19 2003 by anonymous user
My name is Tony Lord. I'm gay. Help.
If they ever develop a way to determine sexuality in the womb, I'm not suggesting that everyone should have the option to terminate their bent baby, just people with the surname Lord. It's not fair on the child.
Oh, and Norton - although that might be locking the stable door after the horse has bolted.

approved Jun 12 2004, submitted Jan 4 2004 by Tony Lord, Jon Blyth
M'lud, the prosecution presents Jenna Taylor.

She sounds suspiciously more like a friend of Betty Swollocks than an actual living, breathing human being, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, counsellor.
approved Oct 27 2004, submitted Oct 17 2004 by Tim Evans
Alan West is an easy anagram of Anal Stew, if you're lucky enough to know an Alan West.
approved Feb 11 2005, submitted Oct 29 2004 by Name Withheld, anonymous user
We had a kid called Richard Sitch. One HILARIOUS prank, that continued right up until leaving for college, was to ring him up in the early hours of the morning and ask "R. Sitch?" then reply to whomever answered "Well scratch it then!"
approved Apr 18 2005, submitted Nov 3 2004 by Nick Parr
I used to know a Mr. Haw who had named his son Nicholas; knickerless whore.
approved Apr 18 2005, submitted Nov 8 2004 by Adam Fletcher
The unfortunately monikered Richard Fromaggio who was universely regaled with the title : "Dick Cheese"
approved Apr 15 2005, submitted Nov 19 2004 by Pob Mcbows
Anne Kerr.
The defacement is obvious, and was swiftly applied every single time she wrote her name
approved Feb 15 2005, submitted Jan 5 2005 by kristkopher wallam
A lad in my Geography class was called "Guy Brewin"... once when he really annoyed both me and a few friends, the name on his book was swiftly changed to "Gay's Brewin A Fart"

Cockfingers says:
I knew this guy once who was called "Jezz Gobbler". Whenever he left the room we would all form a massive conga line singing songs of his heroic deeds. It's only now I realise his name sounds like someone gulping down spunk. Missed a fucking trick there, thinking about it.
approved Oct 9 2011, submitted Jan 6 2005 by cockfingered
A boy at my school was called Paul Hiscock.

Now why would his mum and dad do that? I cannot believe for one minute thay didn't try the two names together at some point before the Christening and go "oh, better not", which means it must have been deliberate. That's nothing short of child abuse in my book.

Matt says:
Could have been worse. They could have called him 'Aaron'.
approved Apr 16 2005, submitted Jan 7 2005 by anonymous user
You like football. Your surname is Kirwan. Ok 'til you score a goal and people start chanting it.
approved Apr 28 2005, submitted Apr 28 2005 by andy kirwan
I knew a lad with a Japanese mum and an English dad. His mum had insisted on giving him a traditional Japanese first name - Ken. His dad's surname was Barlow. I think he'd have had a less miserable time of it at school if he'd been called Chris P. Wanksock.
approved May 3 2005, submitted May 3 2005 by Uncle Squalid
At my brother's school, there was a boy from Singapore called Wee An Yew (the "An" is pronounced "on").
Curiously, no systematic persecution ever took place. Perhaps the name was widely interpreted as a threat.
approved May 12 2005, submitted May 11 2005 by simon mantle
At my school, there was a chap called Ima Cuntrash.
Mansh says:
approved Jan 27 2006, submitted Jan 25 2006 by Captain Crackerjack
This wasn't at school - but at work, I can search for members of my company all over the UK. One otherwise useless afternoon I found the member of our Glasgow branch called, wait for it, William Bellend. I can prove it, too.

Log says:
No need! Just had a quick look myself. Turns out he's moved from Glasgow to Rhyl, where he resides in a half-way house for people with fucking ridiculous names.
approved Oct 16 2011, submitted Oct 8 2006 by Ed McGready
Mr and Mrs Cornell made a crucial decision on the steps of Wembley Register Office. As it was about to close, they decided that Kaye would be an adequate substitution for Faye. Having realised on the bus that 'Faye Cornell' may have been what they said when informed of her imminent existence but that didn't mean it had to be her name for life.
approved Nov 12 2006, submitted Oct 21 2006 by Kaye Cornell
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