The Law of the Playground
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My name is Eduardo Cockfingers...

...and my fingers are forever leaking semen. Some people think that having a set of cocks for fingers would be disablingly grotesque, but actually it's quite a subtle effect. Have a look!

Edward's Cockfinger

I get by. The fingertip urethra travels all the way to my mouth. Not my bladder and testicles, as you might expect - those are still connected to my everyday penis. The reason my fingers leak a constant drizzle of spunk is that I drink gallons of the fucking stuff.

I love it.

I revel in filth. I thrive on awfulness. I soak up shit like soap made from puppy fat, and I leak it out of my fingertips in the form of spittle, sweat and ejaculate.

So who better to curate the very worst entries we receive at LotP? Who better than me?